Communication

Whenever I’m bored I like to look through the Futility Closet. Today I saw an interesting post, if you’re into strange language (it’s from 1890, so we’ll excuse some of the wording).  Here’s the text:

TO BE LET,
To an Oppidan, a Ruricolist, or a Cosmopolitan, and may be entered upon immediately:

The House in STONE Row, lately possessed by CAPT. SIREE. To avoid Verbosity, the Proprietor with Compendiosity will give a Perfunctory description of the Premises, in the Compagination of which he has Sedulously studied the convenience of the Occupant. It is free from Opacity, Tenebrosity, Fumidity, and Injucundity, and no building can have greater Pellucidity or Translucency — in short, its Diaphaneity even in the Crepuscle makes it like a Pharos, and without laud, for its Agglutination and Amenity, it is a most Delectable Commorance; and whoever lives in it will find that the Neighbors have none of the Truculence, the Immanity, the Torvity, the Spinosity, the Putidness, the Pugnacity, nor the Fugacity observable in other parts of the town, but their Propinquity and Consanguinity occasion Jocundity and Pudicity — from which, and the Redolence of the place (even in the dog-days), they are remarkable for Longevity. For terms and particulars apply to JAMES HUTCHINSON, opposite the MARKET-HOUSE.
– “Dub. News.,” quoted in Charles Carroll Bombaugh, Gleanings for the Curious from the Harvest-Fields of Literature, 1890

That sort of takes your breath away, doesn’t it. It makes you wonder what you were doing during English class. Not paying attention, I guess. I don’t know that I have ever consciously used more than half of all these words (I’m not including verbs, prepositions or conjunctions).

I was going to pick out my favorite sentence and copy and paste it here, but then I realized that it’s all one sentence starting from the It’s free from part. The whole text only has 4 periods in it, for heaven’s sake. Makes every German heart beat a bit quicker.

I’ll just pick out some worthy parts: Opacity, Tenebrosity, Fumidity,  Injucundity,  Pellucidity, Translucency, Diaphaneity, Crepuscle, Agglutination, Amenity, Commorance.

I keep thinking of something contagious here and I’m afraid I’m coming down with a fever just reading it, but nevertheless, some of this vocab really could spice up your conversations. So let’s all pick 3 or 4 of these words and use them this week.
I’ll take agglutination (I can use that one a lot), commorance (’cause I just moved), tenebrocity (seems all purpose), and crepuscle (my favorite time of day).

I wonder which ones Justi and Nicole will take.

english vocabulary

Bruce Sterling from Beyond the Beyond is a bit stumped. And why is he stumped? Because he got a really good business proposition, but he’s not sure if he should jump at it or not. Being the linguistically sensitive guy he is, some of the wording has made him wonder if it’s really what he’s looking for.

Here’s the email. What do you think?

Here’s the text for those to lazy to try the link:

Good time of day. You are disturbed by the charitable company Redd Cross of Slovenia. We have the business offer for you. We can offer to you of earnings, thus your salary will make from 1000$ to 2000$ per one month, at an incomplete working day. Your earnings can be and higher. The more and forces you will give time, the there will be your salary more.

If it is interesting to you, you write on the address of e-mail of our agent: manager_on_connections@yahoo.com he will contact you within 24 hours and will throw off to you all details, and will answer you on all your questions.

Thank you for attention Redd Cross of Slovenia!

I know what you all are thinking, but no, Gorbach didn’t write it. 

But it comes down to the same problem. Somebody is trying to sell something here.
This is a scary thought.
I do realise that this is spam, and we can’t really expect high language standards from spam. But let’s be honest, this is certainly not the first really bad English you or I have ever seen (let your mind wander back a few months…).

I don’t want to get snotty about grammar, or sentence structure, or any of that. God knows I’m not a stickler, but there is a limit.  If you’re going to impersonate somebody then you could at least spell their name right. Who could possibly take this seriously?

Except, … maybe, … hmmm … maybe their main takers are people with equally well developed English skills.

If you look at it that way, it’s almost a niche business. Maybe there’s work for Gorbach after all.

bad english email

According to English, Jack, there’s an idiom shortage going on in America. This is serious business here. It starts over there and before you know it, it’s spread to Europe.

There’ll be some hard times for English teachers. And the rest of the English speaking world (and those who would like to join that rest) are going to feel the pinch as well. 

Here’s the original article in the Onion.

Well, you know what they say - easy come, easy …   Ooops. Forget it. I’m saving my idioms for a rainy d.. (ooops)

english idiom shortage

I’m still trying to figure out how I can make some gainful use out of all these unproductive animals I have at home. (Unfortunately, the job as Schrödinger’s Cat was already filled by the time The Cat got her CV off. Good jobs don’t grow on trees, you know, and there must have been at least 100 other cats with her qualifications.) Anyway, let’s get back to this pointless-pet problem.

Linguistically speaking, all of them have possibilities and uses. Each and every one of them has already long found his/her purpose in idiomatic English. (I can’t say the same for home.) Let’s start, for personal reasons, with cats, and look at some of the ways we can put them to use,  be it only in our language.

Where to start?
You let the cat out of the bag when you tell a secret and you weren’t supposed to.
A visibly nervous person looks like a cat on a hot tin roof (or on hot bricks). 
You look like something the cat dragged in if you look like, well, something the cat dragged in.
A room can be so small that there is no room to swing a cat.
Not only do all roads lead to Rome, but there is also more than one way to skin a cat. (Has a nice ring to it)
A rich and generally powerful person is often referred to as a fat cat.
You are said to be grinning like the Cheshire Cat when you’re grinning ear to ear.
If you are reluctant to speak, people may ask if the cat’s got your tongue.
It’s raining cats and dogs when it is really raining hard. 

And, as we all know, when the cat’s away, the mice will play.

Naturally, there are countless more, but I just can’t list them all. As we can clearly see, cats do at least contribute something to society. They are not completely useless.
Oh, and before I forget, I wanted to mention one more cat-thing. Many of you may or may not realise this, but cats have 9 (read: nine) lives in English.
Think about it.

Apropos of idioms, here is an interesting site I found. It’s called Ponderings of a Cowboy Hat English Teacher. He goes quite in depth in his treatment of idioms - I personally appreciate the cowboy slant (duh). And here is a site that lists endless idioms (quantity goes before quality).

For more of my pointless pet idioms, stay tuned.

english language cat idiom

Ever since I’ve been in Austria (which is, believe me, a very long time) I have been amazed at the amount of dialects the Austrians have and the differences between them. Just because you understand Viennese, doesn’t mean that you’ll do well with Tyrolean, for example, or Carinthian for that matter (just ask me).

I always thought to myself, “Well, these Austrians are a fine lot. They can’t get their language organized at all. It’s a wonder they understand each other, let alone how we foreigners cope.” English, of course, is easy.

We do have some dialects in English, naturally. But ours are easy to understand and use. For example:

Here a sample text in “normal” English:
Susan and John walked down the street hand in hand. They were planing a lovely evening together. First, they would dine at an expensive restaurant, and then they would take in a late movie. And after the movies, John was hoping to get the chance to pop the big question. Soon, if all went well, Susan would be his wife.

Here the same text in Red Neck:
Pansy an’ John-Boy walked down th’ street han’ in han’. They were planin’ a lovely evenin’ togither. Fust, they’d dine at an expensive restaurant, an’ then they’d take in a late movie. An’ af’er th’ movies, John-Boy was hopin’ t’git th’ chance t’pop th’ trimenjus quesshun. Soon, eff’n all went fine, Pansy’d be his wife.

Here the same text in Jive:
Susan and Raz’tus walked waaay down de street hand in hand. Dey wuz planin’ some lovely evenin’ togeder. Ah be baaad… Fust, dey would dine at an ‘espensive restaurant, and den dey would snatch in some late movie. And afta’ de movies, Raz’tus wuz hopin’ t’get da damn chance t’pop de big quesshun. Soon, if all went well, Susan would be his mama.

This time in Cockney:
Susan and John walked dahn the bleedin’ street ‘and in ‘and. They were planin’ a luvly evenin’ togeffer. First, they would dine at an expensive restaurant, right, and then they would take in a late movie. And after the movies, John were ‘opin’ ter get the chance ter pop the big question. Soon, right, if all went well, Susan would be ‘is ole lady.

How about Elmer Fudd English:
Susan and John wawked down the stweet hand in hand. Dey wewe pwaning a wovewy evening togethew. Fiwst, they wouwd dine at an expensive westauwant, and then they wouwd take in a wate movie. And aftew the movies, John was hoping to get the chance to pop the big qwestion, uh-hah-hah-hah. Soon, if aww went weww, Susan wouwd be his wife.

Or maybe pig latin (my personal favorite):
Usansay andyay Ohnjay alkedway ownday ethay eetstray andhay inyay andhay. Eythay ereway aningplay ayay ovelylay eveningyay ogethertay. Irstfay, eythay ouldway ineday atyay anyay expensiveyay estaurantray, andyay enthay eythay ouldway aketay inyay ayay atelay oviemay. Andyay afteryay ethay oviesmay, Ohnjay asway opinghay otay etgay ethay ancechay otay oppay ethay igbay uestionqay. Oonsay, ifyay allyay entway ellway, Usansay ouldway ebay ishay ifeway.

Does this look like fun?
Here’s a great page to turn all your documents, texts, emails, or whatever into pig latin, or red neck English, or any other wide-spread dialect.

It might help if you’re having trouble getting your co-workers (or children) to understand you. Maybe you’re just speaking the wrong language.

English dialects red neck english jive cockney elmer fudd pig latin

Most people are truly interested in increasing their vocabularies, because, as we all know, a broad vocabulary lends a speaker conversational dexterity (a certain savoir faire) and creates a large comfort zone in a wide range of subjects and situations.

In other words, a strong vocabulary can, and will, change your life (for the better).

I’ve started a new category called, fittingly enough, vocabulary. I’ll use this category to introduce new and exciting words which will help you to, well, increase your vocabulary, and, in turn, make your conversational and writing experiences more enjoyable and, with luck, profitable.

Seeing as we are in the midst of Fasching here (Carnival, for you English speakers), I thought this first list was appropriate:

An unusual list of sex-related terms:

Faunoiphilia(FAW-nay-FIL-ee-uh) - An abnormal desire to watch animals copulate.

Brassirothesauriast(bruh-zeer-oh-thuh-SAW-ree-ast) - A person who collects brassieres or pictures of women wearing them.

Eunoterpsia(YOO-noh-TURP-see-uh) - The doctrine that pursuing sexual pleasure is the goal of life.

Typhlobasia(TIF-luh-BAY-zee-uh) - Kissing with the eyes closed.

Amychesis (AM-i-KEE-sis) - The involuntary act of scratching or clawing your partner in the heat of passion.

Mammaquatia(MAM-uh-KWAY-shee-uh) - The bobbing or jiggling of a woman’s breasts when she walks, dances, or exercises.

Ozoamblyrosis(OH-zoh-AM-bli-ROH-sis) - Loss of sexual appetite because your partner has wicked B.O.

Amomaxia (AM-uh-MAX-see-uh) - Love-making in a parked car.

Colpocoquette(KAHL-puh-koh-KET) - A woman who knows she has an attractive bosom, and who makes good use of its allure.

Melolagnia (MEL-uh-LAG-nee-uh) - Amorous feelings inspired by music.

By the way, I found the list here (one of the hottest blogs in town).

vocabulary building lists english strange sex terms

I mentioned before that I spend a lot of my time proof-reading documentation and, of course, working with professional people who want to perfect their English. Now most of the authors of said documentation (and the majority of the people I work with) have German as a native language. And as many of us already know, English and German are very different in many ways.

One very noticeable difference (and one of the tell-tale signs of a native German speaker) is the passive voice. Many German speakers seem to love the passive voice and use it with intense abandon (busily obscuring meaning and evading responsibility for actions carried out). The English language, however, loves action (think Marlboro Man) and doesn’t really lend itself to passive sentences. It is generally much more effective if used actively.

So, what’s the difference between the active and the passive voice, you might ask.

Well, verbs are either active (The president of the supervisory board approved the new hand book.) or passive (The new hand book was approved by the president of the supervisory board.).
In the active voice, the subject and verb relationship is clear and logical: the subject carries out the action.
In the passive voice, the subject of the sentence is acted upon by some other agent, or by something unnamed (The hand book was approved).

It is generally accepted that the subject should indeed carry out the action. It simply makes everything more, well, active (for lack of a better word).

Seen like this, presidents should approve hand books, but hand books should not be approved.

Having said that, and after frightening the passive voice out of all you, the passive voice is not always negative per se, and occasionally does have its purposes (albeit not as often as in German). 
It can be very useful, for example, if:
1) It is more important to draw the reader’s attention to the person or thing acted upon: The offices were broken into in the middle of the night.
2) The subject (or actor) in the situation is not important: The new risk guidelines can be found in intranet.

Here’s a post,  and here, and here, and here a bit of an explanation - all to help you get an idea of how to avoid the unnecessary use of the passive voice.

Now go out and be active!

english language passive active voice sentences business writing

I was surfing through internet this morning and got to thinking about one of my very favorite pastimes - proof reading (c’mon, everybody has his own little quirk).

Most of the texts I get to proof have been written by native German speakers and should ultimately sound as if they came from native English speakers. That isn’t always possible, so let’s just say that that is the über-goal of most proof reading activities, but often I’ll settle for understandable, readable and less complex than the writer originally planned.

And German speakers are a highly complex bunch. Endlessly long sentences, relative clause heaped upon relative clause and stacks of nouns long enough to challenge any check out counter on December 24 (continuous production improvement project committee report, just to give you an idea of what I mean). The passive voice is to be used by all who write, successfully obscuring the subject of a given action to anyone, even those tenacious enough to read to the end of the sentence. And those most persistent readers, when finally reaching the end of a long and winding sentence, will often unexpectedly find that active verb they would have enjoyed (and understood) at the beginning of the sentence.

Whew.

We English speakers are different. We don’t pride ourselves in being able to create long, complex sentences. We have no innate love of unpronounceable compound nouns. We derive no pleasure from seeing our readers valiantly seeking verbs at the end of our sentences or watching them wade through rows upon rows of related and unrelated clauses.

Nope.
We’re a simple lot.
We do best with short, active sentences.
We get to the point.
We say it and get it over with.

We write reports. Seldom do we recapitulate the results of projects in written form. We validate findings. We usually don’t convince ourselves of the integrity of disclosed outcomes. We trash things. We rarely dispose of things in the receptacle set aside for that purpose.

Well, enough of that. Here’s what Charlotte has to say about her editing (and children) woes. I suppose I should try drowning my editing problems in a mug of warm milk too (without the addition of sweet, pleasing honey and instead go for four fingers of cognac).

proof reading editing verb noun native English speaker German complex language

Does the name Dr. Seuss ring a bell? Many of us grew up with his books. How about The Cat in the Hat, or maybe Horten Hears a Who(down in Whosville, if I remember correctly), Green Eggs and Ham (Sam I am), or How the Grinch Stole Christmas. 

He was great - although now that I’m older I think he must have been on something to come up with those texts. But on the other hand, it’s hard to be creative with a vocabulary of no more than 220 words.  Hmmm, come to think of it, most people learning a foreign language have similar problems, but that’s a completely different can of worms…

There is a point to this all, and that’s this poem, A Grandchild’s Guide to Using Grampa’s Computer, written by Gene Ziegler. It’s enjoyable, and almost everybody has heard or read parts of it already, but here is the whole kit and kaboodle.

Read and enjoy!

Dr Seuss Gene Ziegler

“Wait here for the present.”, said the woman to the child, and left for a moment, hoping the child would wait quietly while she called a taxi to take them home. 
“Wow! I wonder what I’m getting.”, pondered the child, considering all the wonderful things she could expect.

Presently, the woman returned; with empty hands. The child presented her with a disappointed look.

“So, where is it?”
“Where’s what?”
“My gift.”
“What gift?”
“The gift I was waiting for.”
“You were waiting for a gift?”
“Yeah, you promised me one!”
“I never promised you anything.”

Liar.

Have you ever stumbled over time? I mean, have you ever not understood when something is happening?

Wait, let me make this easier. Try this out, “The movie starts at 19:30.”
When? Excuse me?

One of my major confusions after coming to Austria was (and often still is) the time. I was always used to the am/pm system (here explained by Adrian) - and it suited me just fine, thank you. But after coming here I had to learn to understand (and sometimes use) the 24 hour clock.

It sounds easy - and it is - until you need it quickly in conversation. Then I get all confused and stressed and generally can’t figure it out anymore. The am/pm system just seems easier (and more intuitive) to me, because that’s what’s on the clock (old fashion non-digital ones).

Hmmm, learning a foreign language is a lot more than just a bunch of new words, it seems.

am pm 24 hour clock

Okay, I don’t really know why I’m showing you this video. I guess I want you to know that I have never given my son this many instructions, especially not during a 24 hour period.

However, even as that may be the truth, I am convinced that many a mother (and a father) out there will have some sympathy for the lyrics of this song. If they have never really made that many suggestions for improvement (especially not during a 24 hour period) I’m sure that they have known parents, or seen parents, or even heard of parents who have.

And even if they themselves have never given their child that many tips and hints in one stretch of time, they perhaps have been ignored as many times anyway (even though there was no instruction giving during those times).

This does not represent a maternal moment of mine.

As most of you already know, I do speak German. 
And I already did when I first came to Austria - or at least I thought so. Back then I quickly learned that I only spoke the German we learned in school and at the university.

I did not speak (or understand) austrian German.

It took a while for me to get my linguistic feet on the ground and be able to participate in conversations with more than just a smile and a nod - a behaviour most foreigners will exhibit occasionally/often, and it generally means “What the h***?”  “Pardon?”.

So I worked on it and soon had austrian German down pat.

Or so I thought. I moved from Vienna to Carinthia, and here in Austria that means: new location, new language.

Well, I’m still working at it - it’s rough going. (I really do know what you’re going through if you’re suffering through learning English.) But back to the carinthian dialect part, Monika has researched some of the carinthian language quirks, if you’re like me and are still thoroughly confused.

Austrian language carinthian dialect

As some of you may (or may not have) noticed, I changed my blog’s title from “Lisa’s Blog on Communication, Headhunting and Horses” to “Lisa’s Blog on Stuff”. It seemed more appropriate.

When I started this blog, I wanted to present myself from my purely professional side. I wanted to leave personal things out of it and concentrate on business related topics (with a wee bit of horse to keep it light). 

I tried to do that, I really did … sort of.

Pretty early on I realised that it’s not going to work out that way. The main problem seemed to be that I don’t have an undiluted professional side.

The many sides and aspects of my life flow together and are downright impossible to keep strictly divided.

For many years I spent 8, 10 or more hours a day in an office “working”. Afterwards I would go home and have “leisure time”. These two parts of my life were clearly non-related and were spent in absolute opposition to each other.

Work was, well, work. And leisure time was fun. Lots more fun than work, because work was work.

Finally (after the usual soul-searching) I figured out that it doesn’t have to be that way. I can work and live and be me all at the same time. It was only my attitude towards work that I had to change (and some of my habits). By changing my attitude (and those nasty habits), I also changed my priorities and became a much nicer person to spend time with - and work with.
Work became fun because I allowed all areas of my life to flow together - creating an infinitely more holistic me.

Life is too short. If all we do is work and forget who we are, then we have nothing at the end of the day (except maybe the large bank account that we could have anyway). If we are able to combine our work, our hobbies, our families, our friends and ourselves into one big package, then we have life - not just life, but with all probability a prosperous life.  We’ll never worry about having to work until we’re 66, 69 or even 85. We’ll want to. Work is enjoyable - if we are allowed to integrate our lives into it.

That’s work-life balance for me.

So at any rate, my blog got a new title and I got rid of the stress of trying to make all this sound business related. It is business related.

For those of you who are still having some issues in this area, here’s the blog of workplace wellness via yoga (in case reading my blog hasn’t already helped).

[work life balance]

Seems our ex vice-chancellor (Hubert Gorbach, for those who don’t remember who I mean) is looking for new challenges, now that he has none in Austria.

News channels report that he sent a letter to Alistair Darling - looking (or not) for something interesting to do, because … the world in Vorarlberg is too small for him (and for most others too, I’d imagine).

I can almost understand him. Must have been downright exciting being the right hand man of our dear friend JH, and in comparison, it must be pretty boring now, sitting around in that little alpine world, looking for fun and finding none.

Wasn’t a bad idea, either. If you can’t find what you’re looking for at home, then set your sights on more global goals.
Go international!
Put on your traveling shoes and join the world!

Unfortunately for his job prospects, his letter looked like this.

I don’t want to rag on his politics, but his English certainly has room for improvement.

Oh well. Looks like he’s staying in Vorarlberg anyway for the time being.

[hubert gorbach english skills]

Bing’s at it again, the ol’ grammar freak.

I know what he means, because there are some very strange things in the English language. One of them is the difference between they’re, there and their. It’s not hard in conversation, but boy can it get confusing when you have to write it down.

They’re is a contraction of “they are”. It means “they are” and nothing else, as in “They’re a bunch of crazy people”.

There is the opposite of here, as in “The book is over there“; or refers to a place, point or stage, as in “He went there after work” or “There is where I disagree with your statement”; or is used to express satisfaction, approval or sympathy, as in “There, I’m finished” or “There, there. Don’t cry”. 

Their refers to possession, as in “They took their work home with them”, or “Is that their new office?”. 

Consequently, the following must be correct:
“There, there, fair bear. Their rare pears are over there on their chair. They’re fair, those pears; but they’re not meant for fare. They’re meant to stay there, on their chair, those rare pears. There, there, fair bear.”

english grammar their they’re there

Rita ::  and Grace
Comedy :: Tragedy
Polar ::  Bear
Idiots ::  and Children
Perception ::  Deception
Infected ::  with Lice
Fake ::  Beard
Relating ::  Communicating
Distraction :: Men
Gamble ::  Casino

You can play, too: http://subliminal.lunanina.com/um/ind/week_241

unconscious mutterings

I  don’t know about you, but I’m a mother.

Now, generally and under normal circumstances, I consider myself to be an intelligent, sensible and sound person. However, like I said above, I am a mother.  And it seems that being a mother can sometimes override any intelligent thought that you might otherwise be likely to entertain.

Situation 1: We’re in the kitchen. I’m showing my son (16 years old) how the bread cutting machine works. I explain the various buttons and how you can adjust the slice width and rotation speed. Satisfied with my demonstration, I turn to leave him to his own devices. I haven’t quite gotten out  the kitchen door, when I suddenly go maternal, “And don’t cut your fingers off.”

Good thing I said that - perhaps he didn’t realise that it would be bothersome if he did.

Situation 2: We are at a friend’s house, enjoying a comfortable summer evening outside. Because it sometimes gets cool in the evenings here, we have a camp fire to sit around. The fire begins to get low, and my son asks where he can find wood. We show him the pile and without warning, a serious Maternal-Moment rolls over me, “Careful not to let your clothing catch fire.”

Ahhh, right - fire can burn.

Situation 3: We are standing on the balcony, looking out at the back garden. The Cat is generally not allowed on the balcony, because she dances on the railing and generally plays with her own mortality out there; but at any rate, my son is holding her, letting her look out with us. Major Maternal-Moment: “Don’t let her fall.”

(”Oh please, mom, just  this once….”)

mother teenager worry stupid statements maternal children

I don’t know about you, but I get unbelievable amounts of email. I send a bunch of them, too. Every single day. Most of them are, under close scrutiny, unnecessary.

I can remember back in the days when I still worked in a structured environment. We used to send countless unnecessary emails to each other, even though our offices were right next door.
Sending emails was easier than walking down the hall, and leaning out the door and yelling wasn’t really de rigueur.

So we sent each other emails.

Hungrig? (send)
Ja. (send)
Sushi? (send)
Chinesisch? (send)
okay. 13h? (send)
Eher 13.15 (send)
Bis dann. (send)
Bis dann (send)

Another terrible habit is sending everything cc to somebody else; generally somebody higher up the office pecking order. Sort of the electronic version of washing your hands in innocence. (Well, I sent you all the correspondence cc, so it’s not my fault if anything goes wrong…).

You go crazy with all these emails in your inbox. You can’t possibly read them all (especially not me, see AAADD).

Well, there’s hope. Here’s a great article to help you get your emails under control.

I might even try it myself. :-)

email organisation

I never knew that Carinthia (Southern Austria, for those of you who will never come here haven’t been here yet) was such a well-discussed corner of the world.

Admittedly, most of you probably have already exchanged jokes about Jörg Haider  (think far right and nervous foreigners) and have perhaps discussed the pros and cons of Kärntner Nudeln (ravioli looking noodle products filled with mint (!) and cheese) and undoubtedly snorted over the bilingual city sign woes (see again JH) - but who on earth could ever have expected this amount of attention?

Both on-line PR experts, my pal Ed  and FastenYourSeatbelts (she blogs in English too, so don’t be scared), are going to town about where and how Carinthia Tourism advertises.

Hey, whether or not they originally placed their banners wisely, they’re sure getting great coverage now.  I’ll bet their blog stats are climbing and the reservations are rolling in (hotel and pizzeria owners can breathe a collective sigh of relief. Another season saved).

Just goes to show you; it doesn’t really matter what you say or where you say it - it’s who reads it that counts.  And nowadays (in the web 2.0 era) it may pay to place an advertising faux pas (providing the right people notice your blunder, and then the right people notice the people who noticed).

Think about that the next time you put pen to paper or finger to keyboard. Communication is definitely changing, in a network sort of way.

And happy traveling in Lei-Lei-Land (providing you can still find a room).

carinthian advertising kärnten werbung

I was just sitting here sort of minding my own business, thinking about some really irritating words (ahh,  the distractible minds of the clinically bored) and I noticed that this morning’s kitty-breakfast may have affected the immediate well-being of The Cat. I heard a strange noise behind me and saw that the kitty-kibble had successfully effected an escape from The Cat.

This had an almost simultaneous effect on my personal well-being and this morning’s non-kitty-breakfast effected a near-escape onto the keyboard of my laptop. (This effect would not have created a Nice Moment.) I effectively thwarted the need to visually appraise the effects of my digestion and jumped for the paper towels.

The Cat was faster and had already dashed into the hall where she continued to effectively deposit more kitty-kibble onto the floor, this time onto the rug. This affected my speed positively. I hurtled my body into the hall, armed with the paper towels, making wiping motions as I ran.

This effectively frightened The Cat, who was already not well. The effect was dramatic and somewhat disturbing. I had effectively effected an exodus of nearly all the cat-contents out the various orifices of The Cat.

After a time, The Cat and I met again in the bathroom.

We had both effectively calmed our digestive systems and our nerves. The Cat had once again effectively affected her usual kiss-my-ass casual attitude and I had successfully effected a removal of all the vile effects of said kitty-breakfast.

The Cat effectively gave me her I’m-going-to-pee-in-your-most-expensive-shoes-look and effected her exit. Oh, the joys of being afflicted with feline affection.

english grammar

Have you read Bing lately? I like Bing. He sees himself sometimes as sort of a grammar-cop or language-trooper, as it were. One of his favorite topics seems to be scary trends in the world of grammar.
Now, maybe grammar isn’t one of your favorite topics, but Bing can really get into it.

Like I said, I like Bing. I can relate to his troubles. I have language pet peeves too.

One of my absolute favorites goes like this: (sign in a shop window) Closed on Sunday’s. Here’s another one (in case the first looked okay to you):  (another sign) Dog’s not allowed.

Does this bother you at all? It makes me go nuts.

Okay, okay,  I can hear what you’re thinking - Austria is a German speaking country. What can you expect. These people are not native English speakers.
True enough. But consider  this - I didn’t see these signs here (I admit, the closed on Sunday sign smacks of Austria, but the dogs not allowed sign,  never.) I saw these signs in the USA.

What’s with you guys?  Hey, my grammar isn’t perfect either, but this is definitely not a Good Thing.

The real problem is that this apostrophe-trend quickly crossed the ocean and set up house-keeping here, where people still nap after lunch and cows have purple spots.

Now everybody’s into it. We have ponie’s at the barn, they sell hotdog’s down at the Würstlstand and Corona’s at the bar down on shoe-shop road.
It’s an epidemic. And I’m scared.

Of course, I really shouldn’t complain. This trend helps keep me and my horses in oats.

english grammar apostrophe

No comment.
(This should get me lots of business…)

english language

I started this blog primarily to exchange ideas about my professional areas.  I only added horses to my topic list because I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist writing about them. They are, after all, my passion. My first posts, however, would definitely be very professional and would reflect my more serious, business oriented side.  Ed and I both agreed that this was a Good Idea.

So, as life would have it, this post is about horses. Well, maybe not entirely - this does all have some general value about it, so read on - even if you hate horses.

Working with horses is an all-body, all-mind experience. Aside from the fact that you always have hay in your hair and unknown substances under your nails (or what’s left of them), you can really get mentally involved. The more involved you become, generally the better it works (and the less often your feet get stomped on).
There’s a simple plan: if you want to communicate with a horse, think and act like a horse and don’t expect the horse to think and act like you.
Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Well, it is if you know how a horse thinks and acts; hard if you don’t. Gotta do your homework, if you like having 10 toes and an equal amount of corresponding fingers. A good working relationship with a horse is based on trust and respect. You have to have both (on both sides!) if you want to be able to successfully communicate and get things done. The key is to make a horse want to do the same things that you do, not just do what you want because he must.

The horse world has been drastically changed by the concepts behind “natural horsemanship” (horse whisperers to you lay-people out there) and we are gung-ho to learn how to understand the motivations and language of our horses. Our relationships with our horses have also undoubtedly improved because of it and many have been able to turn “bad” horses into wonderful friends and mounts. We can actually not only get them to do what we want, we can get them to want what we want. Wow.

Why on earth then is it so hard for us to do the same with people??? For heaven’s sake it must be easier, seeing as we don’t even have to learn the behavioural patterns of a different species (except with some men I know).

Hasn’t there been thousands of communication seminars and leadership workshops based on this very same idea? Communication is not pounding your ideas into the heads of others (human or equine).

Understanding the motivating factors, desires, values, needs and communication style of your vis-a-vis (human or equine) substantially raises the chances of you being a successful communicator - and in turn the chances of you having successful relationships (professionally and personally) and getting things done.

Think about it. Especially if you have horses. If you can do it with them, then damn it, give it a try with people too.

Maybe you’ll not only be able to get your teenage son to clean his room, but maybe even to want to have a clean room.

hmmmm…

communication horses natural horsemanship business

This is my first stab at blogging - which is undoubtedly late by any and all standards.
I did have my reasons. A lot of it had to do with my ignorance of the sport. I knew next to nothing about it, and didn’t really care either. Some of my friends and acquaintances blogged; but they’re all geeks, so who listens to them. 
Then I got enlightened. Ed (PR guy par excellence) got me going on the subject. He’s been at it for some time. He even dragged me to a weekend bar camp in Klagenfurt. There I was, a lonely head hunter (with a sensible handbag) wearing jeans and cons surrounded by a bunch of computer freaks sporting laptops. It was great. I was in my element. Of course, I immediately tried to find java specialists for a project I was recruiting for, so I didn’t really listen to what was going on (typical). But after I had finally given up finding anybody willing to talk about java (let alone the cool projects I was pushing), I finally listened.

And it sounded like fun.

Over the months since then I’ve surfed around and read lots of blogs. Wow. It’s instant sharing. The sharing of ideas and thoughts; often in a very rough form, but perhaps enough to connect to somebody else. Maybe to have somebody else think, “Interesting idea, I wonder … (ad lib their own thoughts)” or  ”Hey yeah, I’ve thought that too.” or even “What?…”.  
And well frankly, it’s a good way to stay in contact with friends and family far away.  I’ve never been a good letter/email writer and I’ve never really called home, so this is my stab at connection.

Real posts coming soon.

reasons for blogging