This is a serious case of oral diarrhea. Give Ralph some pepto-bismol and send him to bed (or even better, give me some pepto and send him to bed anyway).
Isn’t he getting too old for this?
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I’m looking for people who have experience in Amdocs. I realise that this is a difficult thing to find these days, so I’ll be happy if I can find people with Oracle, SQL Server and Unix skills (and are willing to learn).
Send me your CV or get in contact with me (info at lisaillichmann dot com) if you’re interested in opportunities in Vienna (freelancer and fix employment contracts). English and German speakers welcome.
I just have to show you this post. It’s great. It was written for every horse-significant-other. You’re not alone.
Thank you, scripturient, your blog is a good read.
p.s. for those of you who keep on the barn news, you’ll see that I’ve posted this link there too :-) (typical of me - if you’re going to do something, then overdo it)
I found this intense video whilst surfing about this morning, dripping honey on my keyboard. I can’t decide what’s creepier, the smile or the music.
Puts Harold and the Purple Crayon in a whole new light, doesn’t it?
Es gibt wieder einen neuen Termin für das erste Wochenende des Kurses Dipl. Windhorse Coach für Pferde, und zwar vom Freitag, 11.7. 16 h bis Sonntag 13.7. 16 h.
Die Kosten für das Wochenende betragen 210,-
Die folgenden Wochenenden finden im Herbst statt (Termine nach Vereinbarung mit den Kursteilnehmern)
Anmeldung und nähere Information: www.reitstall-villach.at
Pferd Energie Qi Yin Yang Meridiane Qigong Akupressur Muskellockerung
I got a “Stöckchen” from Michaela. In case your thinking “A what?” (Which is what I was thinking), a Stöckchen is a sort of on-line chain letter, a sort of “meme“, if you will.
So here goes:
5 things found in my bag:
1) my mobile
2) three pens that don’t work
3) at least one used kleenex
4) my reading glasses
5) a hoof pick
5 Things found in my purse:
1) my ATM card
2) coins and a few bills
3) several sticky business cards (mine)
4) several more sticky business cards (someone else’s)
5) an anonymous telephone number on a no longer sticky post-it
Fav things in my room:
1) two old framed dressage prints
2) a fun rococo mirror
3) Eva’s red sweater
4) my dog’s bed
5) a santa mug
The person who tagged you is Michaela
Your 5 impressions of her
1) she’s creative
2) she’s a big city girl
3) she’s open
4) she’s up on what’s going on
5) she’s knows what she wants
So, it’s your turn:
Adrian, let’s hear about you and what about bek, another cross-cultural person, and my dear friend Werner
I posted a time ago about the Dove commercials. Back then I was sort of thinking, “Cool, Dove let’s you be a normal human being. Dove makes products for ’normal’ women. Maybe the beauty industry is starting to smarten up and become more atune to what’s really going on in today’s world. Maybe the beauty industry is becoming sensitive women’s real needs and the real needs of society. Maybe they are experiencing a sort of ethical moment. ”
In my own little naive way, I was, of course, wrong.
The beauty industry has learned nothing. They are not experiencing (and probably will never experience) any sort of ethical moment.
Look at these two clips from youtube. The first one is the famous Dove evolution commercial (dripping with moral righteousness) and the second one is from Greenpeace.
So is Dove really doing us a favour just because it advertises with middle-aged sagging women? The whole beauty industry, irrelevant how they advertise, is just plain sick.
Don’t you just get tired of all this? What is wrong with this world that women’s looks can become such a central topic and can cause such unbelievable damage (I won’t even start on animal testing)? I just don’t get it.
Give us a break.
Seen at Ed’s blog.
dove evolution commercial beauty advertising industry greenpeace palm oil
I should be working. I’ve got a lot to do.
But I just got home from working with my all time favorite group; a group of intelligent, sensitive, fun, interesting women. We spend our time together talking about any and everything. As David once astutely observed (after having read a vocabulary list from one of our weekly sessions), “Ihr habt ja gar keinen roten Faden” (You guys don’t have a central theme).
Right, David. We don’t. And that’s the wonderful thing about it. We don’t. We talk about God and the world. And everything in between.
Today, towards the end of our session we got to talking about current news and some of the more painful happenings in our quaint little world tucked away here in the Alps. We touched on a subject too frightening and too painful to even comprehend.
I don’t want to get into anything specific here because the national and international journalists (I’m using this term very loosely here) are getting enough mileage from it without my help.
But current affairs do bring up a subject that does beg discussion - the subject of victimization. Specifically, the victimization of women and children.
Victimization seems fairly cut and dried to me. You have the criminal and then you have the victim. The criminal is the perpetrator and the victim is the one perpetrated upon (so to speak).
Seems simple enough. But it’s not.
It’s not because some very sick part of society wants desperately to somehow blame the victim for what has befallen her. Why, for God’s sake, didn’t she do something about it? Why didn’t she just escape or something. Why did she ALLOW this to happen to her in the first place (I’m not even going to start a tirade on skirts being too short or too much make up). Any normal person would have planed and executed a cunning escape. No normal person would have been intimidated enough to allow such victimization.
It’s all so terribly easy, from an intellectual standpoint. Women are so damn weak. Get it together, girls. Pull yourself up by your pubic hairs. (Just goes to show you that we need more gumption, more guts, more ummph.)
Our society helps to create the victim. Our society helps women and children to slip into the revolting pattern of victimization; the belief that yes, we are somehow at fault. The belief that men know better. The belief that we are indeed somehow weaker; inferior to our counterparts.
And yes, once in the pattern of victimization, it is damned hard to get out.
I’m sure there are lots of people out there much more qualified than I to talk about the psychological aspects of victimization and the reasons behind it. And there are also lots of women out there who have been victims and who now are able to look back at terrible, unspeakable happenings and can speak volumes about tyranny, oppression, aggression, power, patriarchism, authoritarianism, fear, paralyzation, impotence and self-hate.
I too have been a victim.
Although I have always strived to make as little as possible of my private life public (as little as is possible for a person who is as publicly accessible as I am), I’d like to briefly mention my own private hell. My own private inadequacies, how I ALLOWED myself to become a victim.
I was stalked for over two years by a jilted lover.
I spent two years of my life living in terror and being a victim. I spent two years of my life watching a man drive ahead of me (not behind me) to work, two years of my life getting hundreds of phone calls per day (and night), two years of my life being afraid of going home in the dark, two years practicing with my child how not to go with anybody, not even with those you know and believed you trusted, two years of emotional prison. And I ALLOWED it to happen, because I was afraid and somehow believed that it was my own fault. I finally got help, and the courage to stop the tyranny of a very small man with very large priapic problems. I finally was able to stop being a victim. (Yes, the man who did this to me is still reading up on me in internet and is certainly reading this post. I know because I keep tabs on him and his IP address. So hello, dear RG. I am no longer your victim, and I am no longer afraid of you).
I realize that this is small beans in comparison to what has been going on here in our charming little country of bourgeois lawn tenders (and in comparison to that which is happening around us every day, both hidden and public).
But it certainly does give me a breathtakingly close perspective.
I am not a feminist. I am a humanist. I am a believer in the importance and value of every person; woman or man. And it is here that this belief and the everyday practices of society diverge.
We can’t allow this to continue. We have got to learn to say no to authoritarian patriarchies. We have got to learn to say no to aggression and oppression.
We have got to teach our daughters (and ourselves) that they (we) are strong, that they (we) have an innate value and worth and that nobody has the right to oppress, tyrannize and victimize them (us).
Here are some good links. Read them, but be aware that their language is not quite as sweet as mine. So if you’re under 18 or terribly sensitive, skip ‘em.
I blame the patriarchy
BitchPhD
Stop the victimization of women and children dead in its tracks.
josef fritzl amstetten austria victimization patriarchy oppression tyranny oppression aggression power patriarchism authoritarianism fear paralyzation impotence
She was down, but not out. Hilary took the Pennsylvanian primary, what a surprise. She still hasn’t overtaken Obama’s lead, but she’s working at it.
Here’s how it stands:
Obama: 1,694
Hilary: 1,556
Needed to win: 2,025
It’s a close race, more exciting than the Euro 2008 (but then, cold morning oatmeal is more exciting than that), and it will still take a while until it’s over. We have 13 days until NC and IN, so let’s keep watching.
I’ve been terribly busy the last days (good) and haven’t had time to blog (bad), but I just had to throw this quickie in.
For all of you who think that I have a short temper (admittedly, sometimes I can get in a bit of a snit about things that others foolishly qualify as insignificant), have a look at this (watch carefully at 00:33):
He beat himself bloody. And then he won. :-)
Whenever I’m bored I like to look through the Futility Closet. Today I saw an interesting post, if you’re into strange language (it’s from 1890, so we’ll excuse some of the wording). Here’s the text:
TO BE LET,
To an Oppidan, a Ruricolist, or a Cosmopolitan, and may be entered upon immediately:
The House in STONE Row, lately possessed by CAPT. SIREE. To avoid Verbosity, the Proprietor with Compendiosity will give a Perfunctory description of the Premises, in the Compagination of which he has Sedulously studied the convenience of the Occupant. It is free from Opacity, Tenebrosity, Fumidity, and Injucundity, and no building can have greater Pellucidity or Translucency — in short, its Diaphaneity even in the Crepuscle makes it like a Pharos, and without laud, for its Agglutination and Amenity, it is a most Delectable Commorance; and whoever lives in it will find that the Neighbors have none of the Truculence, the Immanity, the Torvity, the Spinosity, the Putidness, the Pugnacity, nor the Fugacity observable in other parts of the town, but their Propinquity and Consanguinity occasion Jocundity and Pudicity — from which, and the Redolence of the place (even in the dog-days), they are remarkable for Longevity. For terms and particulars apply to JAMES HUTCHINSON, opposite the MARKET-HOUSE.
– “Dub. News.,” quoted in Charles Carroll Bombaugh, Gleanings for the Curious from the Harvest-Fields of Literature, 1890
That sort of takes your breath away, doesn’t it. It makes you wonder what you were doing during English class. Not paying attention, I guess. I don’t know that I have ever consciously used more than half of all these words (I’m not including verbs, prepositions or conjunctions).
I was going to pick out my favorite sentence and copy and paste it here, but then I realized that it’s all one sentence starting from the It’s free from part. The whole text only has 4 periods in it, for heaven’s sake. Makes every German heart beat a bit quicker.
I’ll just pick out some worthy parts: Opacity, Tenebrosity, Fumidity, Injucundity, Pellucidity, Translucency, Diaphaneity, Crepuscle, Agglutination, Amenity, Commorance.
I keep thinking of something contagious here and I’m afraid I’m coming down with a fever just reading it, but nevertheless, some of this vocab really could spice up your conversations. So let’s all pick 3 or 4 of these words and use them this week.
I’ll take agglutination (I can use that one a lot), commorance (’cause I just moved), tenebrocity (seems all purpose), and crepuscle (my favorite time of day).
I wonder which ones Justi and Nicole will take.
Are you an experienced web programmer looking for new fun in Carinthia or do you know one? Well read on.
I’m looking for web programmers with good to very good scripting skills (ASP, PHP, Java, Java Script) and experience in data base design and programing (My SQL, Max DB, Access, SQL Server). Ability to work in a team and functioning communication skills go without saying.
But don’t worry, your English doesn’t have to be as good as mine ;-).
If everything fits to you except the team and communication part (let alone the English part), then contact me anyway. I have something else for you.
Und wenn Sie gar kein English sprechen (aber wenigstens Deutsch), kontaktieren Sie mich trotzdem.
web programmer carinthia kärnten job PHP ASP Java Javascript MYSQL SQL server Access Max DB
Many of you have pointed out to me (some nicer than others…) that I have not kept to my self-inflicted self discipline rule (Sundays whatever, Wednesdays English, Fridays Head hunting).
This is true. I did for a while. But I didn’t much enjoy it.
As soon as the “have to’s” came in to it, it wasn’t any fun any more. Blogging really is supposed to be about spontaneous writing and, well, fun. I started doing this because it sounded like it would be a great way to put some thoughts to my keyboard and just sort of have at it. And it was great - until I decided to regulate it.
So, I’m going to do what my sister has always told me to do in these sorts of situations. If you make a decision you don’t like, then just make a new decision. And here is my new decision:
I hereby change my writing schedule to whenever I feel like it.
Is this okay?
Bruce Sterling from Beyond the Beyond is a bit stumped. And why is he stumped? Because he got a really good business proposition, but he’s not sure if he should jump at it or not. Being the linguistically sensitive guy he is, some of the wording has made him wonder if it’s really what he’s looking for.
Here’s the email. What do you think?
Here’s the text for those to lazy to try the link:
Good time of day. You are disturbed by the charitable company Redd Cross of Slovenia. We have the business offer for you. We can offer to you of earnings, thus your salary will make from 1000$ to 2000$ per one month, at an incomplete working day. Your earnings can be and higher. The more and forces you will give time, the there will be your salary more.
If it is interesting to you, you write on the address of e-mail of our agent: manager_on_connections@yahoo.com he will contact you within 24 hours and will throw off to you all details, and will answer you on all your questions.
Thank you for attention Redd Cross of Slovenia!
I know what you all are thinking, but no, Gorbach didn’t write it.
But it comes down to the same problem. Somebody is trying to sell something here.
This is a scary thought.
I do realise that this is spam, and we can’t really expect high language standards from spam. But let’s be honest, this is certainly not the first really bad English you or I have ever seen (let your mind wander back a few months…).
I don’t want to get snotty about grammar, or sentence structure, or any of that. God knows I’m not a stickler, but there is a limit. If you’re going to impersonate somebody then you could at least spell their name right. Who could possibly take this seriously?
Except, … maybe, … hmmm … maybe their main takers are people with equally well developed English skills.
If you look at it that way, it’s almost a niche business. Maybe there’s work for Gorbach after all.
Hey, all you finance specialists out there. I’ve got a great career opportunity for a project controller with a degree in finance (or something similar). And if this person also has experience in software development, then guess what? -
I’ve got a great job for you - so drop me a line.
controller carinthia kärnten job offer offene stelle finance finanz project controlling
According to English, Jack, there’s an idiom shortage going on in America. This is serious business here. It starts over there and before you know it, it’s spread to Europe.
There’ll be some hard times for English teachers. And the rest of the English speaking world (and those who would like to join that rest) are going to feel the pinch as well.
Here’s the original article in the Onion.
Well, you know what they say - easy come, easy … Ooops. Forget it. I’m saving my idioms for a rainy d.. (ooops)
Do you want to work at a great company? Then get a job at the Sparkasse Neuhofen. They were named Austrian Employer of the Year 2008 by Great Place to Work Institute. Pretty special, considering that they only have about 58 employees (I hope I counted right, they’re all listed by name on the home page). Omicron Electronics (Klaus) came in 2nd place, followed by ARDEX Baustoffe (Loosdorf), Western Union Financial Services (Vienna) and Procter & Gamble (Vienna).
What did these companies do to be named Austrian Employer of the Year? Well, first they got nominated by their employees. Then Great Place to Work anonymously surveyed the employees of all nominated companies concerning the following issues:
- the rapport between employees and management,
- employees’ relationship towards their tasks and duties, and towards the organisation,
- and the relationship between the employees themselves.
And let’s admit it. The employees of these companies probably are more productive than employees of other (less employee friendly) companies. Why? Because they seem to enjoy going to work - unless they were coerced into nominating their employers and then giving positive answers in the anonymous survey (doubtful).
I assume they simply like their jobs and the people they work with.
Having a positive opinion of your daily tasks, the company you work for and your colleagues can certainly make work a lot less like “work” and a lot more like “fun”.
Wouldn’t it be great if all companies were striving for this title?
austrian employer of the year sparkasse neuhofen omicron electronics great place to work
I’m healing nicely.
I can pretty much use all my fingers again. Before I got rid of the bandages, I could only sort of thump on the keyboard with my left hand and then go back and delete the extra letters with my right hand. (Note to self: don’t forget to take the fondue skewer out of the tool-box.)
So anyway, although I couldn’t really type, I certainly could surf. And so I spent my idle hours once again looking for jobs for my leisure-minded animals. I didn’t find much, but I did come across a myriad of ways to get some verbal mileage out of dogs.
Let’s face it, dogs have it rough.
A dog is either a dog (as in woof-woof), or an ugly woman, or a contemptible man, or an unsuccessful deal or a less than satisfactory thing, and to dog (or hound) is to follow or hunt.
To go to the dogs means to degenerate
A dog’s life is an awful existence
We all know that it’s a dog eat dog world out there (we heard it first from our mothers)
You’re as sick as a dogwhen you’re vomiting your guts out (sorry)
If you do something wrong and get caught, you might end up in the doghouse
Like I always tell my son, “I work like a dogfor you, and you leave your socks on the tv…”
The underdog is the one who has no chance to win
If you lie down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas
Here are some less negative ones:
Every dog has its day (as in a good day)
You put on the dog when you get dressed elegantly
Although dogs are nice, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks
Some things are better left alone, so just let sleeping dogs lie
A very long time is an absolute dog’s age
As you can probably guess, there are zillion more (or at least 20 to 30), but I have to stop somewhere.
Did you notice a pattern here? I mean in both part one and part two (of the pointless pet series).
Cats really get off better than dogs, don’t they? The English language basically treats them nicely. Dogs are scum. That doesn’t seem really fair. Think about it - dogs spend their entire existence gazing lovingly into their persons’ eyes, catering to their every wish and desire. Okay, maybe not every single wish and desire, but hey, those dogs are out there trying. They’re rooting for you. They feel involved, responsible, interested.
Can’t say that for cats, and I would go so far as to say that you can’t say that for all cats (although admittedly, some are less obvious about their dislike than others).
I’m not quite sure where that gets me, from a moral stand point, but I think I’ve spent enough time in pet-reflection.
Sorry, due to an incident involving a fondue skewer, a door handle and The Cat, pretty much all of my left hand is bandaged (no, I don’t want to talk about it) and I’m having lots of difficulty writing. I’ll post again as soon as I can figure out how to get my fingers out of this damn wrap…
Semicolons frighten most people I know. People can get real emotional if you ask them to use one. Native German speakers seem to harbor an inherent distrust of them; as if they were contagious, or could somehow taint the sentence around them.
I find them nice. They look friendly and important. They’re not quite as serious as a colon, and not quite as frivolous as a comma. They’re a bit of a compromise, in a diplomatic sort of way.
By chance I read this in the New York Times. Seems the semicolon is celebrating a resurrection of sorts.
A current poster in the New York subway reminds passengers not to leave their newspapers behind when they get off the train.
Please put it in a trash can, read the sign, until Neil Neches, a transit’s marketing agency employee, added the now-famous semicolon and finished the sentence to read, that’s good news for everyone.
This did not (how could it in New York) go unnoticed. Even cult grammarian Lynne Truss, author of the popular punctuation book “Eats, shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.” saw the sign and called it a “lovely example” of proper punctuation. (note to self: return borrowed book to Justi)
But that’s not all.
The semicolon has become The Topic of the blogsphere. Our Bold Hero, a reactionary proof-reader blogging unflinchingly against prescriptive grammar, fills in his two cents worth here.
Long live the semicolon! - And if you get time, buy the punctuation book. It’s worth the read, even if you don’t care about punctuation.
semicolon lynne truss New York subway Neil Neches punctuation
I was out riding with my good friend Justi this morning and we got to talking about our usual topics.
We started talking about horses (naturally) and how incredibly wonderful they are (especially ours) and how unbelievably lucky we are to be able to ride out on such wonderful mounts (sigh) on such a sunny morning (sigh again).
After we killed that subject (it took a while) we got into English and whether the word healthily exists or not (I couldn’t find it in Websters on-line, but I did find it in dictionary.com, and I googled it with lots of references, so it is used, but I don’t think I personally have ever used it. I suppose I would say in a healthy way, or just healthy, and forget the adverb.)
Talking about English lead directly to how hard it is to learn Slovene (which it is) and all the problems associated with body parts and language.
Then we slid directly into the American presidential election and how entertaining it is - much more so than any other presidential election before. But how often do you get a black and a woman running for the oval office. Just too exciting, if you ask me.
I’m sure that most interested Americans and non-Americans alike already have “favorites” in the race. We’ve all compared (more or less) the candidate’s standpoint on the various issues, for example here from your’s truly, or here from CNN, or here is a summary of the issues for the major candidates Hillary, Obama, Huckabee (sorry, it’s always wikipedia, but it’s so darn quick, even if it’s not always as consistent and correct as we might like - you can find the rest there too, if you’re interested). And we’ve all found that the one or other candidate is closest to our own views.
But will we actually vote for that candidate? Just because he or she holds beliefs that are closest to our own? Oh, I doubt it.
We’ll vote for the candidate we like best - for whatever reason that might be. Accept it. Life’s a popularity contest. When you’re hot, you’re hot. When you’re not, you’re not.
Have you taken the Implicit Association Test yet?
Give it a try, you may prefer a different candidate from the one you actively endorse. Who knows how that will reflect on your voting behaviour, but it’s a great way to waste some time in internet.
I found the link all over the place. Here at Bitch, PhD (who, by the way, is generally an interesting read), and then again at Pandagon (a well-read blog), and yet again here at Blog of the Moderate Left (and for you German speakers, go one post higher and you can see the German word Schadenfreude used in English - so I wasn’t lying when I said that we do that some times) and again at Utne blogs.
I won’t tell you who I prefer, but the test came out like I thought it would - but not like I thought it would 6 months ago.
Hillary Clinton Barack Obama Mike Huckabee Implicit Association Test Presidential election 2008
For years companies have spent their energy gathering and hoarding data. Data about their customers, their potential customers, their customers’ customers, their employees, their employees’ sales figures, their revenues, their costs, and so on and so forth ad nauseum. Basically not a bad idea either, considering the fact that, generally speaking, the more information you have to base your decisions on, the better your decisions should be. The more information you have about your company and market, the higher your chances should be of recognizing and utilizing possibilities, identifying and avoiding pit-falls, and ultimately boosting your return on investment.
This idea of business intelligence (BI) has been, and is, a large issue for organizations and companies throughout the world. According to some experts, BI is (or should be) one of the top priorities of all companies today. Sounds important - and it is.
Logically, collecting data alone won’t help companies at all. Just having the information doesn’t help, if it cannot be easily found, accessed, and used for analytical purposes.
And here lies the crux.
You can imagine the excitement in the office when Mr. Data Compliance from The Large, Famous and Very Expensive Consulting Company comes to do his audit and finds zillions of Excel spreadsheets stored locally on individual desktops. (Ahh, thank you, Bill Gates - gotta love the guy.)
Obviously, management and IT have got to entertain open communication channels in order to design systems (data warehouse systems) that businesses 1) want, 2) need, and 3) will/can actually use.
It’s not always as easy as it sounds. Data warehouse experts are often confronted with seemingly non-combinable heterogeneous systems and varying management requirements. Systems can only be as good as their architecture and the quality of their data (and the good-will of Frau Tralala who feeds the system with the (hopefully relevant) information). To get an idea of some of the problem areas, here is a pertinent post from a self confessed data warehouse noob.
Why am I writing about this now? Well, because I have a customer who is looking for such an expert, and hence I am, too.
Who are we really looking for?
Well, we’re looking for somebody for the conceptualization and design of such a system (at a company in Vienna). We’re looking for somebody with more than 5 years of experience in heterogeneous IT systems, business logic knowledge, and the ability to understand and implement complex requirements and needs.
Want to learn more? Please contact me for a job specification.
For others, here is a site with more-or-less understandable information about business intelligence and data warehousing. And here something for the easily intimidated. Here’s a post called datawarehousing for cavemen (again more for the quickly daunted).
data warehouse business intelligence BI DWH IT job Vienna database architecture design conceptualization information mining
I’m still trying to figure out how I can make some gainful use out of all these unproductive animals I have at home. (Unfortunately, the job as Schrödinger’s Cat was already filled by the time The Cat got her CV off. Good jobs don’t grow on trees, you know, and there must have been at least 100 other cats with her qualifications.) Anyway, let’s get back to this pointless-pet problem.
Linguistically speaking, all of them have possibilities and uses. Each and every one of them has already long found his/her purpose in idiomatic English. (I can’t say the same for home.) Let’s start, for personal reasons, with cats, and look at some of the ways we can put them to use, be it only in our language.
Where to start?
You let the cat out of the bag when you tell a secret and you weren’t supposed to.
A visibly nervous person looks like a cat on a hot tin roof (or on hot bricks).
You look like something the cat dragged in if you look like, well, something the cat dragged in.
A room can be so small that there is no room to swing a cat.
Not only do all roads lead to Rome, but there is also more than one way to skin a cat. (Has a nice ring to it)
A rich and generally powerful person is often referred to as a fat cat.
You are said to be grinning like the Cheshire Cat when you’re grinning ear to ear.
If you are reluctant to speak, people may ask if the cat’s got your tongue.
It’s raining cats and dogs when it is really raining hard.
And, as we all know, when the cat’s away, the mice will play.
Naturally, there are countless more, but I just can’t list them all. As we can clearly see, cats do at least contribute something to society. They are not completely useless.
Oh, and before I forget, I wanted to mention one more cat-thing. Many of you may or may not realise this, but cats have 9 (read: nine) lives in English.
Think about it.
Apropos of idioms, here is an interesting site I found. It’s called Ponderings of a Cowboy Hat English Teacher. He goes quite in depth in his treatment of idioms - I personally appreciate the cowboy slant (duh). And here is a site that lists endless idioms (quantity goes before quality).
For more of my pointless pet idioms, stay tuned.
I was perusing Pink Tentacle this morning and I found an interesting item.
Seems a bank robbery took place in the Ladprao branch of the Government Savings Bank (GSB) in Bangkok last week. An unidentified thief absconded with 200,000 Baht (according to the conversion chart of Bank Austria, that’s about 3,952.57 Euros, or 5,640.32 Dollars, which wouldn’t be enough for me to want to rob a bank, but that’s another story altogether).
Now, I can’t really tell you exactly how the robbery took place (see for yourself), but I can imagine that it was very arresting (excuse the pun) for the other bank customers. It’s not every day that you get to be involved in a bona fide bank robbery, especially when you weren’t expecting it (but then again, who in the world would? One generally doesn’t wake up in the morning with the intention of being witness to a riveting bank robbery, does one?).
At any rate, and to continue my story; unfortunately for the bank robber and fortunately for the police, there were eyewitnesses. Fortunately for the bank robber and unfortunately for the police, he was wearing a motorcycle helmet at the time of the robbery.
The witnesses duly reported what they saw and the Royal Thai Police have released a sketch to aid in his capture.
Admittedly, it may be difficult to identify the culprit from this sketch, but at least they’re following all the leads, bless their little hearts.
I guess we can’t say the same for the Austrian Police, who evidently didn’t do their best for 10 year old Natascha Kampusch, who was kidnapped in 1998 and wasn’t heard of again until her escape in 2006. According to press, reports containing concrete suspicions about Wolfgang Priklopil (her kidnapper) remained unread and her whereabouts unknown until she took advantage of the moment one fine day and saved herself (if you want something done right, then do it yourself).
Well, it just goes to show you - the (Austrian) police is indeed your friend and helper (but only if you’re a criminal).
Thailand bank robber natascha kampusch austrian police kidnapping wolfgang priklopil
I found an interesting article about women in technical fields here (in German, so square your shoulders and pull out your dictionaries).
Even Austria (AMS - the state employment agency) and Austrian companies (Infineon for example) are setting measures to help women get their foot in the door of technical fields. An excellent idea, considering the current development in the job market and the poor pay in conventional women’s fields (especially out here in the boondocks).
Of course, you have to wonder about the effectiveness of these programs (especially the AMS, seeing as its reputation is not the best). But all this might represent a step in the right direction and might help women get the help they need to even consider a technical career (not very common here in traditional Austria, where many women still wear the venerable “Dirndl” and go shopping with a basket every morning).
Most all the well paying jobs here in Austria are still dominated by men, but with support (and a ritual basket-burning), we women might be able to catch up with those male big-earners one day. The coming generations aren’t going to put up with the same discrimination that we, and our mothers, had/have to deal with.
The key is education, self confidence and tenacity (good communication skills can’t hurt either - and trading the baskets in for briefcases and/or sleek handbags is a hot tip too, ladies).
So girls, get movin’. Let’s hit the fast lane and earn beaucoup bucks.
frauen, technik, fit, women, technical, fields, austria, work, jobs, ams, infineon
Ever since I’ve been in Austria (which is, believe me, a very long time) I have been amazed at the amount of dialects the Austrians have and the differences between them. Just because you understand Viennese, doesn’t mean that you’ll do well with Tyrolean, for example, or Carinthian for that matter (just ask me).
I always thought to myself, “Well, these Austrians are a fine lot. They can’t get their language organized at all. It’s a wonder they understand each other, let alone how we foreigners cope.” English, of course, is easy.
We do have some dialects in English, naturally. But ours are easy to understand and use. For example:
Here a sample text in “normal” English:
Susan and John walked down the street hand in hand. They were planing a lovely evening together. First, they would dine at an expensive restaurant, and then they would take in a late movie. And after the movies, John was hoping to get the chance to pop the big question. Soon, if all went well, Susan would be his wife.
Here the same text in Red Neck:
Pansy an’ John-Boy walked down th’ street han’ in han’. They were planin’ a lovely evenin’ togither. Fust, they’d dine at an expensive restaurant, an’ then they’d take in a late movie. An’ af’er th’ movies, John-Boy was hopin’ t’git th’ chance t’pop th’ trimenjus quesshun. Soon, eff’n all went fine, Pansy’d be his wife.
Here the same text in Jive:
Susan and Raz’tus walked waaay down de street hand in hand. Dey wuz planin’ some lovely evenin’ togeder. Ah be baaad… Fust, dey would dine at an ‘espensive restaurant, and den dey would snatch in some late movie. And afta’ de movies, Raz’tus wuz hopin’ t’get da damn chance t’pop de big quesshun. Soon, if all went well, Susan would be his mama.
This time in Cockney:
Susan and John walked dahn the bleedin’ street ‘and in ‘and. They were planin’ a luvly evenin’ togeffer. First, they would dine at an expensive restaurant, right, and then they would take in a late movie. And after the movies, John were ‘opin’ ter get the chance ter pop the big question. Soon, right, if all went well, Susan would be ‘is ole lady.
How about Elmer Fudd English:
Susan and John wawked down the stweet hand in hand. Dey wewe pwaning a wovewy evening togethew. Fiwst, they wouwd dine at an expensive westauwant, and then they wouwd take in a wate movie. And aftew the movies, John was hoping to get the chance to pop the big qwestion, uh-hah-hah-hah. Soon, if aww went weww, Susan wouwd be his wife.
Or maybe pig latin (my personal favorite):
Usansay andyay Ohnjay alkedway ownday ethay eetstray andhay inyay andhay. Eythay ereway aningplay ayay ovelylay eveningyay ogethertay. Irstfay, eythay ouldway ineday atyay anyay expensiveyay estaurantray, andyay enthay eythay ouldway aketay inyay ayay atelay oviemay. Andyay afteryay ethay oviesmay, Ohnjay asway opinghay otay etgay ethay ancechay otay oppay ethay igbay uestionqay. Oonsay, ifyay allyay entway ellway, Usansay ouldway ebay ishay ifeway.
Does this look like fun?
Here’s a great page to turn all your documents, texts, emails, or whatever into pig latin, or red neck English, or any other wide-spread dialect.
It might help if you’re having trouble getting your co-workers (or children) to understand you. Maybe you’re just speaking the wrong language.
English dialects red neck english jive cockney elmer fudd pig latin
I found this great video here. This is excellent, uplifting, motivating. It really gives me the feeling that anything is possible.
Yes, I do believe we can.
I went to the barcamp in Klagenfurt with Werner yesterday. We had to leave early because yesterday was Faschingssamstag and, you surely understand, you can’t miss the Fasching parade in Villach. I promised myself I’d go back on Sunday.
But I didn’t go back. I couldn’t go back. I just simply didn’t have time to go back, I was busy. I had some serious thinking to do.
My head was reeling from my one and only session on Saturday, Time and Ideas for Blogging (Monika Meuter, soisses and Bindestrich).
Monika slapped me around and battered my head. She was ruthless and unrelenting. She told me terrible things and was adamant that I listen. She out and out told me some truths (don’t you sometimes just hate that?).
She told me that blogging had to do with establishing rituals and routines. She said she had noticed that I seriously lack both. (But she did not mention my lack of self-discipline, for which I was grateful).
She urged me to turn over a new leaf and become the blogger I was, perhaps, meant to be.
Hmmm. Let me put this together a bit in my own head.
Routines have to do with rituals, rituals have to do with self discipline (I got that), self discipline has to do with planning, planning has to do with organization (there’s a tough one), organization has to do with less work (I’m beginning to like this), less work has to do with effectiveness, effectiveness has to do with success, success has to do with lots of money, lots of money has to do with more leisure time (there just might be something to this), more leisure time has to do with, well uhhh, me.
Okay, okay, okay.
Monika, you win. I’ll do it. I’ll change my slovenly ways. I’ll pull myself together. I’ll get, and stay, organized, routined and ritualized.
My blog shall reflect these personal changes.
1) Every Sunday I will post about current affairs, off-topic items that catch my attention, bring video clips, poke fun at politicians, go on and on about my marvelous horses, or something completely different.
2) Every Wednesday I will post about communication and language.
3) Every Friday I will post about jobs, head hunting and things of that nature.
I am going public with this moment of personal growth, so be supportive here. I am putting myself under immense peer pressure to stick to my new and modified blogging behaviour (and that while living out of boxes, eating corn flakes out of kitty-dishes - figuratively speaking, of course).
Watch me, help me, keep me in line. If I start becoming lax and far too casual then please yell at me (or post appropriate comments) and get me back on track.
I can do it, I know I can.
Here, in case you’d like to read about it, are some posts about some of the other sessions, and here, here, here, here …
barcampsenzaconfini klagenfurt monika meuter blogging routine ritual self discipline
Florida behind us and the race continues. Possible election scenarios flying around blog-sphere. Giuliani’s out. Edward’s out. Will their endorsements up-end expected outcomes, or solidify existing advantages?
Who will get the dem nomination? (Here some thoughts about Hillary, Florida and 210 delegates looking for a summer job)
Sigh.
Will the dems have the strength to beat McCain? Does it really matter who wins (the will-anything-really-change-problem), or is this just fun writing for the press and bored bloggers.
I’m afraid we could be gearing up for the election for the lesser of two evils. Or shall I say the evil of two lessers? :-)
Doug is having trouble with this thought, too.
barack obama hillary clinton american primaries post-florida lesser of two evils
The American elections are fascinating this year (more so than usual, mind you).
A woman.
A black.
Unbelievable.
And this in conservative America. Who would have thought it possible.
And now Super Tuesday is creeping up on us.
What’s Super Tuesday, you might ask. And why is it so important?
Super Tuesday is the day when the greatest number of American states hold their primary elections. More delegates can be won on Super Tuesday than on any other single day of the primaries, and candidates seeking the presidency normally need to do well on this day, in order to secure their party’s nomination (democrat and republican).
This year Super Tuesday falls on February 5. 24 states will hold primaries or caucuses on this day, with 52 percent of all pledged democratic delegates and 41 percent of the total republican delegates at stake.
So basically, this will be a very important day for the outcome of the primaries. And that, in turn, will naturally have a very large impact on the outcome of the 2008 American presidential election.
The competition in the democratic corner is fierce. Hillary Clinton. Barack Obama. Which one will win? Obama did great in Iowa and really showed Hillary a thing or two. But that was short lived and, as many expected, Hillary took over the lead (The tears did it - got her the women’s vote. You just gotta love a lady who can get emotional about things).
What’s going to happen now though, with South Carolina behind us and Obama up and going strong. Is he strong enough to beat Hillary?
Is he strong enough to beat any republican candidate? Is Hillary? Is anybody?
Is America ready for change? Have things gotten bad enough, or does it have to get worse?
Here is an interesting post - talks a bit about hubby Bill jumping into the race (Oh, just stay out of it Bill. Go find yourself a nice intern to play with.).
How about the election scorecards according to CNN. Here the dems and here the republicans.
What do you think? Which democrat is strong enough to actually win the election (a woman? a black?) - I’m not talking just about the primaries here. Which one has the strength to win in November - in a race against a republican candidate?
Does either one have a real chance, or is this whole election thing just something fun to watch, but won’t change the direction America is going in.
I really do wonder if change is possible.
barack obama hillary clinton american primaries super tuesday
The Centre for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.
This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises. Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER).
Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
(Thanks, Michaela)
Others have reported about this virus, for example here, or here …
Most people are truly interested in increasing their vocabularies, because, as we all know, a broad vocabulary lends a speaker conversational dexterity (a certain savoir faire) and creates a large comfort zone in a wide range of subjects and situations.
In other words, a strong vocabulary can, and will, change your life (for the better).
I’ve started a new category called, fittingly enough, vocabulary. I’ll use this category to introduce new and exciting words which will help you to, well, increase your vocabulary, and, in turn, make your conversational and writing experiences more enjoyable and, with luck, profitable.
Seeing as we are in the midst of Fasching here (Carnival, for you English speakers), I thought this first list was appropriate:
An unusual list of sex-related terms:
Faunoiphilia(FAW-nay-FIL-ee-uh) - An abnormal desire to watch animals copulate.
Brassirothesauriast(bruh-zeer-oh-thuh-SAW-ree-ast) - A person who collects brassieres or pictures of women wearing them.
Eunoterpsia(YOO-noh-TURP-see-uh) - The doctrine that pursuing sexual pleasure is the goal of life.
Typhlobasia(TIF-luh-BAY-zee-uh) - Kissing with the eyes closed.
Amychesis (AM-i-KEE-sis) - The involuntary act of scratching or clawing your partner in the heat of passion.
Mammaquatia(MAM-uh-KWAY-shee-uh) - The bobbing or jiggling of a woman’s breasts when she walks, dances, or exercises.
Ozoamblyrosis(OH-zoh-AM-bli-ROH-sis) - Loss of sexual appetite because your partner has wicked B.O.
Amomaxia (AM-uh-MAX-see-uh) - Love-making in a parked car.
Colpocoquette(KAHL-puh-koh-KET) - A woman who knows she has an attractive bosom, and who makes good use of its allure.
Melolagnia (MEL-uh-LAG-nee-uh) - Amorous feelings inspired by music.
By the way, I found the list here (one of the hottest blogs in town).
Hmmmm. Will anything really change?
Found here
american presidential election 2008 candidates david bowie change
You simply must have already heard that the super bowl is coming up. Now, I’m not a great football fan and haven’t seen a game since my high school days (at an age where being in the stands was just as athletic as being on the field), but that old super bowl can really pull a crowd.
Here are some interesting facts:
The California Avocado Commission reports Americans eat 8 million pounds of guacamole on Super Bowl Sunday, more than any other day of the year (I hope they don’t eat as many beans).
More drivers are involved in alcohol-related accidents on Super Bowl Sunday than any other day of the year except St. Patrick’s Day, according to the Insurance Information Institute (gotta love those Irish).
There are more parties thrown on Super Bowl Sunday than New Year’s Eve, according to Hallmark.
There are fewer weddings that weekend than any other (we all have priorities…).
9 of the 10 most watched TV programs of all-time are super bowls (again those priorities).
And let’s not forget that special super bowl commercial. It’s a very high profile time slot and advertisers take these 30 seconds very seriously (2.6 million dollars worth of advertising money).
Take a look at this one, it’s one of my favorites (from 2003).
And don’t forget to watch the super bowl - if you like football. Otherwise just try to get a look at the commercial - it’s really worth it (you can find it afterwards in youtube, then you don’t have to bother watching the game - that’s my method). If you’re a die hard or want to learn more, then here’s a post, and here if you like to cook too, and here is an interesting post connecting the winner of the super bowl and economic growth (we can get into that later).
Several months ago I found a funny video clip here . Ha ha, I thought to myself. Isn’t that funny. Ha ha.
Well, yes. It is funny.
But not quite as funny today as it was back then. Sigh.
Ain’t that the truth.
I mentioned before that I spend a lot of my time proof-reading documentation and, of course, working with professional people who want to perfect their English. Now most of the authors of said documentation (and the majority of the people I work with) have German as a native language. And as many of us already know, English and German are very different in many ways.
One very noticeable difference (and one of the tell-tale signs of a native German speaker) is the passive voice. Many German speakers seem to love the passive voice and use it with intense abandon (busily obscuring meaning and evading responsibility for actions carried out). The English language, however, loves action (think Marlboro Man) and doesn’t really lend itself to passive sentences. It is generally much more effective if used actively.
So, what’s the difference between the active and the passive voice, you might ask.
Well, verbs are either active (The president of the supervisory board approved the new hand book.) or passive (The new hand book was approved by the president of the supervisory board.).
In the active voice, the subject and verb relationship is clear and logical: the subject carries out the action.
In the passive voice, the subject of the sentence is acted upon by some other agent, or by something unnamed (The hand book was approved).
It is generally accepted that the subject should indeed carry out the action. It simply makes everything more, well, active (for lack of a better word).
Seen like this, presidents should approve hand books, but hand books should not be approved.
Having said that, and after frightening the passive voice out of all you, the passive voice is not always negative per se, and occasionally does have its purposes (albeit not as often as in German).
It can be very useful, for example, if:
1) It is more important to draw the reader’s attention to the person or thing acted upon: The offices were broken into in the middle of the night.
2) The subject (or actor) in the situation is not important: The new risk guidelines can be found in intranet.
Here’s a post, and here, and here, and here a bit of an explanation - all to help you get an idea of how to avoid the unnecessary use of the passive voice.
Now go out and be active!
english language passive active voice sentences business writing
Obsessive Compulsive Equine Attachment Syndrome
Just recently, after years of research, I have finally been able to give a name to what I have been living with for years.
It’s an affliction, for sure, which when undiagnosed and misunderstood can devastate and literally tear a family apart.
Very little is known about O.C.E.A.N. Syndrome. You will, however, no doubt, begin to identify similar symptoms in your own family and hopefully now be able to cope. Obsessive Compulsive Equine Attachment Neurosis Syndrome (O.C.E.A.N.S) is usually found in the female and
Symptoms vary widely in both number and degree of severity. Allow me to share some examples which are generally most prominent.
The afflicted individual:
1. Can smell moldy hay at ten paces, but can’t tell whether milk has gone bad until it turns chunky.
2. Will spend hours cleaning and conditioning her tack, but wants to eat on paper plates so there are no dishes.
3. Considers equine gaseous excretions a fragrance.
4. Enjoys mucking out stalls twice a day, but insists on having a housekeeper mop the kitchen floor once a week.
5. Will spend an hour combing and trimming an equine mane, but wears a baseball cap so she doesn’t waste time brushing her own hair.
6. Will dig through manure piles daily looking for worms, but does not fish.
7 Will not hesitate to administer a rectal exam up to her shoulder, but finds cleaning out the Thanksgiving turkey cavity for dressing quite repulsive.
8 By memory can mix eight different supplements in the correct proportions, but can’t make macaroni and cheese that isn’t soupy.
9 Twice a week will spend an hour scrubbing algae from the water tanks, but has a problem cleaning lasagna out of the casserole dish.
10 Will pick a horse’s nose, and call it cleaning, but becomes verbally violent when her S.O. picks his.
11 Can sit through a four-hour session of a ground work clinic, but unable to make it through a half-hour episode of CSI.
The S.O. of an afflicted victim:
1. Must come to terms with the fact there is no cure, and only slightly effective treatments. The syndrome may be genetic or caused by the inhaling of manure particles which tend to have an adverse effect on female hormones.
2. Must adjust the family budget to include equine items - hay, veterinarian services, hoof services, riding boots and clothes, supplements, tack, equine masseuse and acupuncturist - (as well as the mandatory) equine spiritual guide, etc. Once you have identified a monthly figure, never look at it again. Doing so will cause tightness in your chest, nausea and occasional diarrhea.
3. Must realize that the victim has no control over this affliction. More often than not, she will deny a problem even exists as denial is common.
Now you can better see how O.C.E.A.N.S. affects countless households in this country and abroad. It knows no racial, ethnic or religious boundaries. It is a syndrome that will be difficult to treat because those most affected are in denial and therefore, not interested in a cure. So, I am taking it upon myself to be constantly diligent in my research in order to pass along information to make it easier for caretakers to cope on a day to day basis.
(Thank you Gina for sharing this with me, author unknown)
Feb. 7, 2008: I just found out that Scooter Grub (website here) wrote this lovely tongue-in-cheek piece. Thanks Scooter, for giving our suffering a name.
Now admittedly I don’t jump too much myself (being much more of a dressage lover) but look at this horse go. This guy jumps more like a cat than a horse. Would be something to ride though…
Now this is excitement. Did you expect this to happen? I sure didn’t. Hilary hasn’t given up yet. The rest of the primaries are going to be great.
The winds of change are blowing…
Here I am, sitting around at home watching the ice melt.
We had an incredible ice storm last night that left my driveway and the sidewalk slick as hell. I had to sort of skate over to the car (probably looking like a drunk spastic with stiff knees), but I decided to drive to the gas station to get some salt anyway.
I didn’t want any old ladies killing themselves in front of my house (would ruin my whole day of peace).
So, now I’m sitting here basking in the glow of good citizenship, drinking a tea, and hammering away at my brand new keyboard (which is attached to my brand new laptop. Brag, brag, brag, …)
I don’t know how you feel about the American primaries, but I need to arrange and organize some of my thoughts, Iowa being behind us and all. Let’s run through the major candidates once, shall we? Just to sort of take stock of who supports what and who opposes the other thing, as it were.
rep. Mitt Romney: (currently 44% delegate total)
Born March 12, 1947 (old). Was the governor of Mass. from 2002 to 2006. Before that he was head of the Salt lake City Olympic Organizing Committee (very sporty). Former bishop and stake president in his church (strong church ties are always good republican qualities).
Issues:
Neutral on women’s right to have an abortion
Opposes gay marriage
Neutral on universal health care
Neutral on idea that global warming is human caused
Supports the death penalty
Opposes increased taxes for the wealthiest
Opposes setting withdrawal timetable for Iraq
rep. Mike Huckabee: (currently 34% delegate total)
Born August 24, 1955. Was governor of Arkansas from 1996 to 2007. Before that he was a Southern Baptist minister (keep the church thing in mind). Is known for losing 110 pounds (!) and advocating a healthy lifestyle (sounds sportier than Romney, possibly anti-McDonald’s).
Issues:
Opposes women’s right to have an abortion
Opposes gay marriage
Opposes universal health care
Neutral on idea that global warming is human caused
Supports the death penalty
Opposes increased taxes for the wealthiest
Opposes setting withdrawal timetable for Iraq
rep. Fred Thompson: (currently 10% delegate total)
Born August 19, 1942 (very old). Was Tennessee senator from 1994 to 2002 (like oh so many). Before that he was an actor (stage experience is always positive). He announced his candidacy on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. (Sounds like a good basis for the American presidency)
Issues:
Opposes women’s right to have an abortion
Opposes gay marriage
Opposes universal health care
Opposes idea that global warming is human caused
Supports the death penalty
Opposes increased taxes for the wealthiest
Opposes setting withdrawal timetable for Iraq
dem. Hilary Clinton: (currently 56% delegate total)
Born on October 26, 1947. New York senator since 2000. Married to Bill Clinton (and basically already had to run the country once). Was named one of the one hundred most influential lawyers in America in 1988 and 1991 (and probably gets the female vote).
Issues:
Supports women’s right to have an abortion
Opposes gay marriage
Supports universal health care
Supports idea that global warming is human caused
Supports the death penalty
Supports increased taxes for the wealthiest
Supports setting withdrawal timetable for Iraq
dem. Barack Obama: (currently 22% delegate total)
Born on August 4, 1961 (definitely a date-able age, this handsome young man). Illinois senator since 2004 (what’s this senator thing?). Is the fifth African American Senator in U.S. History (distinctly taking the black vote).
Issues:
Supports women’s right to have an abortion
Opposes gay marriage
Supports universal health care
Supports idea that global warming is human caused
Supports the death penalty
Supports increased taxes for the wealthiest
Supports setting withdrawal timetable for Iraq
dem. John Edwards: (currently 16% delegate total)
Born June 10, 1953. North Carolina senator from 2000 to 2004 (ho-hum, seems to be a popular part of the bio of any good presidential candidate). Was the Democratic nominee for Vice President in 2004 (so what?)
Issues:
Supports women’s right to have an abortion
Opposes gay marriage
Supports universal health care
Supports idea that global warming is human caused
Supports the death penalty
Support