Election and such

Here I am, sitting around at home watching the ice melt.

We had an incredible ice storm last night that left my driveway and the sidewalk slick as hell. I had to sort of skate over to the car (probably looking like a drunk spastic with stiff knees), but I decided to drive to the gas station to get some salt anyway.
I didn’t want any old ladies killing themselves in front of my house (would ruin my whole day of peace).

So, now I’m sitting here basking in the glow of good citizenship, drinking a tea, and hammering away at my brand new keyboard (which is attached to my brand new laptop. Brag, brag, brag, …)

I don’t know how you feel about the American primaries, but I need to arrange and organize some of my thoughts, Iowa being behind us and all. Let’s run through the major candidates once, shall we? Just to sort of take stock of who supports what and who opposes the other thing, as it were.

rep. Mitt Romney: (currently 44% delegate total)
Born March 12, 1947 (old). Was the governor of Mass. from 2002 to 2006. Before that he was head of the Salt lake City Olympic Organizing Committee (very sporty). Former bishop and stake president in his church (strong church ties are always good republican qualities).

Issues:
Neutral on women’s right to have an abortion
Opposes gay marriage
Neutral on universal health care
Neutral on idea that global warming is human caused
Supports the death penalty
Opposes increased taxes for the wealthiest
Opposes setting withdrawal timetable for Iraq

rep. Mike Huckabee: (currently 34% delegate total)
Born August 24, 1955. Was governor of Arkansas from 1996 to 2007. Before that he was a Southern Baptist minister (keep the church thing in mind). Is known for losing 110 pounds (!) and advocating a healthy lifestyle (sounds sportier than Romney, possibly anti-McDonald’s).

Issues:
Opposes women’s right to have an abortion
Opposes gay marriage
Opposes universal health care
Neutral on idea that global warming is human caused
Supports the death penalty
Opposes increased taxes for the wealthiest
Opposes setting withdrawal timetable for Iraq

rep. Fred Thompson: (currently 10% delegate total)
Born August 19, 1942 (very old). Was Tennessee senator from 1994 to 2002 (like oh so many). Before that he was an actor (stage experience is always positive). He announced his candidacy on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. (Sounds like a good basis for the American presidency)

Issues:
Opposes women’s right to have an abortion
Opposes gay marriage
Opposes universal health care
Opposes idea that global warming is human caused
Supports the death penalty
Opposes increased taxes for the wealthiest
Opposes setting withdrawal timetable for Iraq

dem. Hilary Clinton: (currently 56% delegate total)
Born on October 26, 1947.  New York senator since 2000. Married to Bill Clinton (and basically already had to run the country once). Was named one of the one hundred most influential lawyers in America in 1988 and 1991 (and probably gets the female vote).

Issues:
Supports women’s right to have an abortion
Opposes gay marriage
Supports universal health care
Supports idea that global warming is human caused
Supports the death penalty
Supports increased taxes for the wealthiest
Supports setting withdrawal timetable for Iraq

dem. Barack Obama: (currently 22% delegate total)
Born on August 4, 1961 (definitely a date-able age, this handsome young man). Illinois senator since 2004 (what’s this senator thing?). Is the fifth African American Senator in U.S. History (distinctly taking the black vote).

Issues:
Supports women’s right to have an abortion
Opposes gay marriage
Supports universal health care
Supports idea that global warming is human caused
Supports the death penalty
Supports increased taxes for the wealthiest
Supports setting withdrawal timetable for Iraq

dem. John Edwards: (currently 16% delegate total)
Born June 10, 1953.  North Carolina senator  from 2000 to 2004 (ho-hum, seems to be a popular part of the bio of any good presidential candidate).  Was the Democratic nominee for Vice President in 2004 (so what?)

Issues:
Supports women’s right to have an abortion
Opposes gay marriage
Supports universal health care
Supports idea that global warming is human caused
Supports the death penalty
Supports increased taxes for the wealthiest
Supports setting withdrawal timetable for Iraq

So, what does all this mean?
As I see it, America seems to be stuck with the death penalty, no matter what (hopefully not for illegally married gays, who also don’t seem to have good prospects in the near future).  The democrats are all pretty pro-abortion and the republicans aren’t (now there’s something new). If you are pro universal health care, then go democrat. If you’re rich, go republican (really?). The democrats are getting the hell out of Iraq and the republicans are staying. The dems seem to think we can change global warming and the republicans are planning a barbecue.

I wonder how the rest of the primaries will go…

Just in case my synopsis doesn’t help you much, try this one. It compares the candidates to stocks, like John Edwards to McDonald’s and Mike Huckabee to Chick-Fil-A (despite his healthy turn).

mitt romney mike huckabee fred thompson hilary clinton barack obama john edwards