Austrian Angst

I don’t know if you speak German, but I do.
If you do too, you might like this blog. It’s kind of fun to read about crazy Americans as seen by crazy German speaking Europeans.

I like that sort of thing.

There’s a great post from the weekend about how German speaking Europeans are afraid of draughts  (drafts for those English speakers who only speak American). Isn’t it true? Have you ever tried to open a window in Austria? The first thing you hear is, “Mach zu, es zieht. Ich verkühle mich sonst.” 

Austrian Angst.

So anyway, in case you don’t know yet, I have a son. He goes to school here, and in Austria it’s customary for kids to wear house shoes during school (like Birkenstocks, for instance). I assume it’s an effort to keep the floors clean, in case anybody wants to eat their lunch off them.

At any rate, my son is good about taking his sneakers off, but not so good about the Birkenstock part. He runs around in his stocking feet, a fact that makes his teachers go wild.
Now do you think his teachers go wild because his socks are hard to wash (as in, they feel for me and my washing machine)?
Noooooooo, of course not. They’re wild because, “Du machst deine Nieren kaputt, wenn du bloßfüßig herum läufst” (You’ll ruin your kidneys running around in your stocking feet).

I never realized that kidneys and feet were so closely related.

Isn’t that weird. Isn’t that completely Austrian.
I mean honestly, where is the connection between the feet and the kidneys? Is that the same connection between the draught and the cold?

How about this one - “Wenn du kalte Getränke trinkst, bekommst du Halsweh.” (If you drink cold drinks, you’ll get a sore throat).
Do I have to mention how many Americans should be running around with sore throats? Have you ever ordered a Coke in America? Have you ever been served a tepid one?
I think drinking warm beverages does more for the green house effect than for the throat.

Here’s one of my absolute favorites - ”Sitz nicht auf dem Boden - oder auf Mauern - in Monaten, die mit “r” enden” (Don’t sit on the ground - or stone walls - during months ending in “r”).
If you do, you’ll get salpingitis (Eileiterentzündung). I had to look that one up in Leo, because I’ve never needed to refer to this condition in English, save ever having suffered it.

I guess Americans just have tougher fallopian tubes than the average German speaking European.

austrian angst draught cold drinks kidneys sore throat